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| She recently broke up with me. A month ago, I would have let any potential feeling of longing and loss simply wash off the pores of my calloused heart. Yet, my heart began beating again, crumbling the exterior and allowing it to feel.
And I began loving her, more than I possibly could. I fell in love with every small act and aspect of her, which ironically, I hated before, but now unable to resist and absolutely love.
It took me too long to realize that I love her so much. Yet, it's too late.
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I wrote her a song and sung it for her.
I recorded the song and sent it to her.
Every breath I have breathed is a breath of her.
I miss her.
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| my brother showed me this photo a couple days ago.
How apropos.
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| This is my favorite photo of September/October 2008, courtesy of Paul Nakayama.
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Ed Mun, the older brother I never had.
He has taught me how to:
1. drink more (grey goose specifically)
2. sing Cyndi Lauper without being shameful
3. enjoy Britney Spears without committing suicide
4. avoid menial jobs and shoot for the easy ones (creative jobs)
5. skillfully avoid every women booked to the table at a korean club
6. use a digital camera in ways I never imagined
Yes, the older brother I've always wanted.
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| did I read that right. it's been 11 weeks since my last entry.
I've been cutting down the weeknight outings in the past few months, to the point where my life post 9 pm has come to a fervent crawl as opposed to a zealous fiesta.
i'm simply tired.
i woke up this morning at 7:45 am amidst a dream where I was calculating how many hours I worked in a week to which I continued to calculate as my eyelids opened and I saw the rays of painful sunlight hit my cortex. I think I averaged 64. or was it 65.
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a project i'm very excited i'm starting is a living breathing journal of Macy Gray documented through recorded video, live streams, and blogs. we should be launching in a few weeks.
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I've been meeting new people and running into those from the past in the past week.
met Paul's sister at the Lifehouse show
my cousin visited from Korea and we ended up at Cercle with:
my old friend from Emory named Danny and my younger brother
caught up with Jason, Rick, Bryce and Ben at their show (Lifehouse).
Since the universe is trying to tell me something, I've been making attempts at contacting everyone I haven't spoken to in a while and reconnect.
So hello.
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| i haven't written much lately. not that my life has been that mundane in the past few months, but i've been avoiding those sites that draw you in to never find your way out until days later. my life has simply become busier. running half dozen art & design schools, overseeing instructors and over 300 students is just the half of it. The FR*A agency has taken off and I'm now faced with more recording artists & clients than my team and I can handle...but I make due; mostly with a half pack of cigarettes and a few beers at night to mercifully nudge myself to an enervating sleep which is only broken by the incessant series of buzzes of my blackberry reminding me that the days and nights are simply just not long enough. I should move to Jupiter where time is irrelevant. perhaps in 50 years or so. or perhaps the timing is simply off.
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